The Infinite Playlist, Volume 1.2

An Infinite Playlist. A Playlist without end. Songs are added onto it continuously, and nothing is ever removed. This is our Infinite Playlist, songs gathered from every corner of existence we know of that tell of our love and affection. Now of course posting it in it's entirety would be unwieldy and massive, so we have decided to post into small segments. Now this all began when we would send songs back and forth, mentioning how they reminded us of the other person, and soon we had so many we needed somewhere to keep track of it, and so the Infinite Playlist was born.

For Volume 1, we decided to choose songs that defined us alone, and expressed us getting to realize our true feelings for one another. Ending in a declaration that it was alright, we had each other. I would also like to thank Miss Genevieve (whom you can read about here and here) for the amazing album artwork. ^ ^ She has become our resident album artist, so look forward to more of her adorable art with more of these volumes.

Now those of you who have followed our blog will notice this is a repost of an old article of a similar name. For some reason the embedded playlist stopped functioning, and so we decided to venture forth to 8tracks.com and use their services, which has lent itself very nicely to our needs. So, enjoy here, Volume 1 of Digital Romance's Infinite Playlist.

Fidelity by Regina Spektor
I’ve felt like Fidelity was my theme song for years. I’ve always been afraid. Not always sure of exactly what but I put up walls between myself and the world around me, I didn’t let anyone get too close. I suppose I can say I’ve had boyfriends before but, really, they weren’t much more than a convenience to me. I kept them further from me than anyone else and I was always surprised that I hurt them when I left because, in plain language, they meant nothing to me. Sab was the one who came into my life and changed everything. I’ve never let anyone in as fully him, not friends and not family. I don’t know how to explain why it is I trust him so much. He just fits into my life like he was always meant to be there. - Sorcha

For me, Fidelity’s words don’t hold as much meaning as the video itself. The video for this song is a wonderful visual play on the relationship between Sorcha and I. In it, Regina Spektor and her companion sit within a room devoid of all color, a wonderful soliloquy of how I see my life, even my manner of dress includes my love of the monochrome. But this girl, in a literal explosion of color, brings laughter, joy and music to the bleak world. Sorcha is that girl to me, the woman who brought me color in her hands, and wasn’t afraid to share it with me, and she will always be the one who turned my monochrome world into a Technicolor dream. - Sabrael

Can’t Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Carla White
A 40’s girl at heart I’ve always loved big band, jazz, and soft sultry voices. Can’t Say Goodbye to Yesterday fills my head with pictures of smoke filled rooms, lazy pianists nursing drinks between chords, and lipsticked singers holding the microphone close enough to kiss. A song about letting go and holding on is the perfect way to introduce the beginnings of a relationship. It’s then that you wonder which parts of yourself are truly you, which are made up of those you’ve run into along the way, and what it is that truly defines you. I see this song as an attempt to find out who you really are before you can decide to let someone else inside. - Sorcha

Carla White’s soft lyrics have always sung the song of my soul. Can’t Say Goodbye to Yesteday has been my theme song ever since I first heard it, at the end of a beautiful narrative on fate. Is our destiny ours or is it chosen for us by those with more power? For a long time, I wondered on this, and after meeting Sorcha through extravagant twists of fate I realized even if there is something up there, I am the one who needs to move forward by my own will. On my own two legs. I will carry myself. And yes, I have found my inner peace and it has a name: Sorcha G. Dubhsioc. With her at my side, I will gladly brave whatever life may decide to visit upon me. - Sabrael

Summer’s Gone by Aberfeldy
I’ve mentioned before that I started to fall for Sab looooong before I’d intended to but it wasn’t until the end of the summer that I started to give into hope. There was a time where it seemed like it was just the two of us. We talked more, ignored our well placed boundaries, and soon well hidden emotions began to peek out. As the temps began to cool to a bearable 80 degrees and the miserable Missouri humidity started to fade it seemed like there were more things changing than just the weather. We finally realized, “Well we get along, Yeah we really do, And there's nothing wrong, With what I feel for you.” At summer’s end, we finally decided to let our hearts take control of our rational minds and that is one decision that I know I will never regret. - Sorcha

The end of Summer, to most, is sad because they remember the end of summer vacation as kids. I am very pasty, and very Irish, and so the sun is not my friend. So the end of Summer to me has actually meant little but the end of too much sunshine. Autumn on the other hand, the browning leaves, the sweeping winds and the feeling of melancholy that comes over me when it begins has always been beautiful to me. And it was near the Fall that Sorcha and I came together as two lonely hearts finding solace together. Melancholy has never felt so warm and sweet before. Now I look forward to Autumn as the time when I was able to find my Sorcha, and now it is a marker of another year passed, and another year to come with her at my side. - Sabrael

She’s So High by Tal Bachman
There are three songs so far in the history of the playlist that have given me goosebumps. Technically this one is #3 but I like lists that start at the end (and it gives you something to look forward to). Every time I hear it I don my aptly named ‘idiot grin’ and am incapable of doing anything other than flooding Sab with <3’s and I love you’s. It’s not just the obvious giddiness at being compared to Aphrodite or even him seeing me as out of his league (Pshaw on that theory!). It’s the fact that this song goes both ways. I don’t know what I did to deserve having Sabrael in my life. He puts up with my ridiculous mood swings, quirks, and eccentricities with an amazing patience I will never understand. My senior year in high school we had a girls retreat where one of the activities was to write out a list of the qualities of our perfect man. Sab meets Every Single bullet point on that list. Whether it’s luck or fate, finding him is something I won’t easily take for granted. - Sorcha

I must admit, I have a very sappy view of this song. The truth is I don’t feel like I am good enough for Sorcha, and I doubt I ever will feel like I am. I know Sorcha will always argue that I am more than deserving, but I will always thing otherwise. Does this worry me? No, I am in love, and as long as I can shower her with that love I will always be happy. And to add to the sap that is already filling this article, I gladly think my Sorcha is more charming than Cleopatra, more beautiful than Aphrodite, and stronger than Joan of Arc. Every time I hear this song, I think of the video: the odd girl with the staff, wings and goggles, without a care in the world. And I can’t help but think of Sorcha, with that beautiful smile and the way she makes me feel when I see her smile. And of course the desire to do anything I have to in order to make sure that smile never goes away. I am grateful to the universe for letting me have her near me, and I would never trade my time with her for anything. - Sabrael

Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows
This song will make the most sense with a small history lesson. While it is true that I met Sabrael though a mutual friend that is only part of the story. There is a good reason why we were so hesitant. Why we were never supposed to fall in love. That reason was his girlfriend. My best friend. Yes, this changes the story a bit now doesn’t it? No story ever has a set beginning and a set end, there’s always something that happened before and something will always happen after and you often can’t understand the context of one without the other. Yes, I did like Sab from the moment I met him but I never intended to do anything about it. I would fall asleep at night forcing my mind to banish thoughts of him because he was off limits. Untouchable. However if I hadn’t broken all of my rules there wouldn’t be a story to tell here. Accidentally in love is the perfect way to describe what happened to us. Neither of us expected it, neither of us pushed for it, it’s a legitimate case of it just happened. Sometimes love is just unexpected. -Sorcha

Once upon a time, I was living with a girl. She was my girlfriend at the time, but our relationship was somewhat unique. We were more like roommates and very close friends than we were lovers. She was an avid fan of Role-Playing, and through this shared hobby I met Sorcha. Now, Sorcha was sweet, and we shared many things in common, but at the time, we were simply blossoming friends. As my relationship dipped, Sorcha was there to be a reassuring and loving voice, and soon I found myself falling for her, and out of respect for my relationship, I distanced myself from her to remove my own doubts. But I would find myself feeling alone with my significant other at my side, and Sorcha was the only one who kept me company. That was when I realized things were not right. And I found myself in love with someone else. When situations reached new lows, and I moved to Los Angeles, I felt truly alone, the person who should have been there for me wasn’t, and the only person who was meant more to me than I could have expected. And so, we accidentally fell in love, even though rules said we shouldn’t. We couldn’t. But I don’t care, I am happy. And I am glad I accidentally fell in love with Sorcha. - Sabrael

Fly Me Away by Annie Little
It’s hard to expound on this song because in a way it perfectly sums up my feelings on the first few months of our relationship. The first line “Silver moons and paper chains” hold special significance to me because it reminds me of something Sab said to me while I was working on some projects for my Etsy. “She has the moon in her pocket and stars on a string.” It’s become a kind of theme for us, Sab is my Moon Man and I’m his Starry Sky. Even the simple line “Speak to me in foreign tongues” brings up all kinds of memories of inside jokes with my favorite linguist. And quite honestly, at this point I don’t know what I would do without him and I can barely remember what my life was like before he was a part of it. I think I can be happy wherever I am, as long as I have him by my side. - Sorcha

This song is simple, but I think it is a very beautiful song, and it is the one which means the most to me. Sorcha plays some piano, and I think of her playing this early in the morning, waking me up with her beautiful voice. “Now I cant think what life was like, before I had you by my side. Cant say what I'd do without you, knowing what its like to have you.” Those words are how I feel all the time. I can see my life before Sorcha, but I am not me, I am simply watching a sad movie that doesn’t get any better until this beautiful girl enters this poor boys life. I would have to paste all the lyrics here to explain myself. This song describes my Sorcha, beautiful and poetic, and it reminds me of the things that made me fall in love with her. I would gladly fly off with her and see the universe, so long as it meant I could always be with her. - Sabrael

Every Day by Voxtrot
I tried by best to keep it to myself but this past summer I went through a crippling depression. I would wake up every morning almost in tears, panicked by bad dreams. It took me hours to fall asleep because my brain would not stop churning with empty thoughts. There was one thing that I look forward to every day and the only thing that convinced me to get out of bed. That was the thought of talking to Sab and his, then, girlfriend. They were the only ones who could bring any kind of peace or meaning to my life. Through time I came to rely quite heavily on Sabrael, probably more than I should have, but he had this habit of always being there exactly when I needed him the most, like he knew. “Crane my neck to kiss your head, I know, That there is something that I can rely on, And when I strain my thoughts to push this thread I sew, It's some kind of future that I can be sure of.” I know he will always be there for me no matter what and that means more to me than anything else. He’s the one thing in my crazy life that I know I can always rely on. - Sorcha

Voxtrot is a band that takes the feelings in my heart and sings them out to the world. I have yet to find a song of theirs that doesn’t touch me, but Every Day is special. It explains of how my world was upside down, smothering me and making me lose hope in everything, only to have someone take my hands and wrench from me everything I have always tried to keep secret. Making it hard to feel lost, she was there, and I knew she would always be, I felt sure of something in my world. And she was it. Suddenly my world stopped shifting and being so chaotic, and I felt like there was a solid path before me, and walking that path I felt like I had a stable future of me, so long as it meant that future was with her. But this road was a slope, and before I knew it I was tumbling head over heels, but I was laughing the whole way because I knew I was tumbling into love. And I couldn’t have been happier. - Sabrael

I’m No Superman by Lazlo Bane
We are not perfect by any means. Both of us have confrontation issues, anger problems, fits of melancholy, and a whole host of baggage. Life loves to throw curve balls at us, either in the relationship itself or just our everyday lives. However just knowing that there is someone there, that I’m not alone in all of this, makes everything else easier to bear. Every little victory seems like we’re getting closer and closer to our goals. To truly being together like we long to be. It’s so much easier to be strong when you know that someone else is relying on you. I may not be Superman (or Wonder Woman if you feel the need for me to be gender accurate) but Sab makes me feel like I could conquer the world if I wanted to. - Sorcha

I had heard this song for the first time on my drive to work. I was in a crap job, and my life quite frankly sucked. This song always told me that it was fine, life isn’t always easy, but you never have to do it all alone. Now, I think of this song, and I think about the hardest parts of my relationship with Sorcha, and sometimes I feel like it will drown me. But then I see that little window pop-up telling me Sorcha G. Dubhsioc has sign on, and I feel like there is “a hand to break my fall”. And I realize no matter how hard it is, I’m not the only one who is dealing with it. I don’t have to be a Superman, I just have to stay strong no matter what comes my way. And true to the song, some day we will be together, and it will be a great day for both of us, but until then, I only have to keep my chin up and keep moving forwards with Sorcha at my side. - Sabrael

Baby, It’s Fact by Hellogoodbye
Now you all know where the title of my last post came from. Surprise! I may leave little notes for you guys to pick up on from time to time, just to keep things interesting. Really everything I have to say about this song was summed up here. I get so frustrated with fighting constantly to have our relationship taken seriously by others. The line that really gets me is “They don’t know how real love feels.” In all my wildest dreams I never thought I would find a love like the one I have for Sabrael. I’ve seen love in some of the people around me but it’s not the same. It’s hard to describe just how it feels to find the person who completes you and the idea that I would give that up for something as silly as some miles of desert between us is ridiculous. It’s fact, I am in love with Sabrael D. Carroll and though our start may have been somewhat unorthodox that doesn’t make our feelings any less real. - Sorcha

If our relationship had a theme song, Baby, it’s Fact would be it. It touches upon the points that both of us feel is unjust for not only us, but anyone in a long distance relationship. Everyone makes stupid comments, and ridicules us for how our love began, and how it is going now. But like the song says, the only words which matter to me are hers, because “our love is true, the way black is black and blue is just blue.” Everyone is obsessed with how love should be, but in reality, I think our love is how it should be. I fell in love with Sorcha’s words and mind long before I came to admire her beauty. And I will keep loving her thoughts for some time before I can have her in my arms. Most would call it backwards, I call it more forwards than any other love. - Sabrael

Don’t Worry, I’m Yours by DJ Dain
This is a monster of a song but it sums up love so perfectly. I am a worrier by nature. The silliest things set me off onto spiraling logic-lacking trains of thought and usually it takes all my energy to reign myself back in. With Sab I don’t feel that as much. We don’t play silly games, we don’t cloud the purity of our feelings with fights for control or jealousy arguments. We just love. He loves me. I love him. It’s as simple as that. The rest is just details. Since I was tiny (ok, tinier than I am now ^ ^) What a Wonderful World has been one of my favorite songs. Corny as it may sound, being with Sab makes me see that. He is the most beautiful person I know and he’s constantly making me see life in a new light for which I am very thankful. The world through Sabrael’s eyes is an amazing thing to see. It makes me so very glad to know that he is mine. - Sorcha

This song is beautiful. It takes three songs, two of which I hadn’t considered for this playlist, and blends them into a soothing mix that punctuates this, the first of many musical posts. I’m Yours had already been slated to appear on this playlist at some point, a beautiful song about how I am so head over heels for this amazing woman known as Sorcha. Over the Rainbow, specifically the Israel Kamakawiwo'ole version, is a relaxing song that has always put me at ease whenever I hear it thanks to a certain comedy show and a very touching scene using his wonderful rendition of it, coupled with a beautiful shadow play video of What A Wonderful World. To top it off, Don’t Worry, Be Happy, a song with sage advice to someone who worries about details as much as I do, added into the mix reminds me that sometimes one shouldn’t be afraid of the situation, and instead go with the flow. Combined, this song simply puts me into a lull, and reminds me not to panic, and not to freak out, because quite frankly, I am in love. - Sabrael

And there you have it, ten songs that embody the beginning of our friendship, and leading into the beginning of the life we chose together. Next time we'll explore the songs that remind us why we are trying so hard, and why we love each other so much. From both of us, thanks for reading, and we hope you enjoyed this special Wednesday post, and we hope you enjoyed the music. Until next time, give your MP3 Players a hug, and we’ll see you next Monday.

The Story That Never Was, Chapter 2

This is the Number 7 Train from East Lindell to North Everett, a hustling mode of public transport that carries its passengers on swift wings from their homes to their places of business. People get on, and off, read newspapers, browse the latest headlines on their mobile devices and blip, tweet, and google as the world passes them by in the form of brightly colored blurs. Let me point out someone special, you see her, boarding the train at the Pine Avenue stop? How could you miss her? Those electric blue stockings could stop traffic let alone the way they are paired with her pink heeled boots. She stumbles through the doorway, allowing herself to be jostled by all the rest eagerly rushing home. She’s too tired to care much any more. All her muscles ache a bit, simultaneously from sitting and standing for too long. Even so a smile still waits in the corner of her red mouth and her eyes are hopeful. It’s just been a long day, not a bad one. Her emerald green fingernails tap a simple drum line on the back of her iPod as she shifts the volume to accommodate the increase of noise on the train. That is the kind of person she is. Silly and strange. She was just the kind of girl he would have noticed, and would have made way for if he had been at the doors when they opened, but he wasn’t, and you be wondering where he is. If you wait a bit you’ll find him. Just a little longer. And there he comes, rushing up the stairs, hoping to make it before the doors slam shut, and the train abandons him to 32 minutes of silent standing. You notice his rushed steps still fall to an unheard rhythm? It’s the rhythm of his music, ruining the last of his still functioning hearing. That is the kind of person he is. Clumsy and awkward. And little do the two of them realize the machinations in motion. That their lives will be changed today forever. But don’t let me ruin it for you, just see for yourself, because this is the day they meet...

Of course there were no seats left, not that she expected anything less at 6 o’clock in the evening. She sighed and looked up at the bars that hung from the ceiling, meant to be used by standing passengers to hold on while the train was in motion. She didn’t even bother to reach for it, she knew from experience that the tiptoes it required to grasp the slippery bar weren’t worth it and would only make the strain on her poor tired legs even worse. So she did her best to wedge her way into the crowd in the hopes that they would cushion her and keep their hands out of her pockets and off her person at the same time. No dice. The train started suddenly, without the usual ringing warning bell, and she stumbled backwards towards the door where she landed against something soft and entirely too person shaped for her liking.

He reached out his hand as the doors started closing, determined to wedge himself into the packed train and be home on time for once. But as soon as the doors shut, and he attempted to make his way to the back as per his usual routine, he realized something had gone wrong. That black and white scarf had rebelled against entering the train and so now flapped outside the speeding bullet, enjoying the cool evening air. Of course He wasn’t enjoying it as much as his scarf was. His options were plain: abandon the scarf or deal with the massive middle section crowd. He didn’t hesitate, he remained close to the door. Noticing the seat right next to it, known to him as the land of jostled elbows, was available, he casually began slip in front of it, but a sudden start of the train, and the force of a tiny girl caused him to be dropped into it less than gracefully.

“I’m so sorry!” She gasped as she realized she’d landed right into a poor man’s lap. She turned around, face scarlet with embarrassment. Her preference would have been to get away from the situation as quickly as possible but the crowd had quickly sealed back up from the wake her tumble had caused and she really had nowhere to go. She popped one of her earbuds out as she managed to grab onto the armrest of his seat in an attempt to prevent the entire incident from happening again. “You’re alright aren’t you?” She asked with a big smile, hoping that if she just ignored it her blush would fade away. He had only slightly groaned when he bounced into the seat, but his face went blank, and grew somewhat flushed as he heard the sweet voice come to him through the ebb of his music. He couldn’t help but smile shyly, glancing at his lap, “I’m... I’m fine.” When he looked up, he couldn’t help but notice her holding onto his arm rest, he looked back to her, then the ceiling railing, then back to her, doing a bit of calculation in his head. It wasn’t as complex as it may have seemed, it ran down to something akin of: tiny girl plus big train equals no good. And without thinking twice, and forgetting about his scarf’s little rebellion, he stood up, and nudged a standing passenger slightly as he reached up to the rail, offering her the seat with a gentlemanly gesture one would see a maitre d’ perform as he showed a fancy young couple to their booth. “You should sit down, this train can get really bumpy sometimes,” he said more to his scarf’s back end than to her, shyness taking him over, but not enough to overcome his manners

She looked at him for a second with surprise and then her smile doubled in size. “Thanks!” She plopped down into the seat again, almost as ungracefully as she had the first time. “And they say chivalry is dead.” She crossed her legs and pulled the plaid fabric of her skirt back down over her knees, jiggling her foot slightly out of habit, forgetting for a moment the close quarters of the train car. As was her custom on public transport she did her best to avoid all eye contact possible with those around her but her gaze kept shifting to the man in the scarf who stood before her. Something about him intrigued her. Wait a second... She spun her thumb around the volume dial on her iPod and listened closely. “Voxtrot!” She blurted out suddenly. “You’re listening to Voxtrot!” He had to stare off to the side, as his usual custom of staring down would have had him staring at her legs, and that would have made the situation a little more awkward than it already was. And just as a song came to its slow closing he heard the very name of the artist leave her mouth. He blinked, then slowly turned, a bit surprised, pressing the down button on his Zune rapidly to lower the volume, he nodded, opening his mouth for a second before saying anything, “You listen to Voxtrot?” His tone was more of admiration that surprise. The sort of admiration one were to give to a great author at a book signing, prefacing every use of their name with a Mr. or Ms. just to make sure you weren’t toeing the line of fowardness. She nodded and turned up the volume of her iPod as loudly as it would go so he could hear ‘Rise Up in the Dirt’ pouring out of her headphones. “I just was.”

The garbled voice of the conductor came over the speakers. “Ah, this is my stop.” She stood up and realized too late that he was closer than she’d previously calculated. Her face was inches from his chest as she strained to look straight up at him. “Thanks again. For the seat, I mean. It was very sweet of you.” She started moving slowly towards the door but soon found something blocking her way. The stretched knit of his scarf was strung between her and the door. He couldn’t help but smile, he liked that song, it was one of his favorites, and as she stood he noticed how close she was, it wasn’t uncomfortable like it was when other people bumped into him on the train. And so, in his head, more math. This time it was more complex. His stop was 15 minutes further ahead, her stop was now, adding in his lack of desire to stop talking to her equaled out to getting home late, but with a smile. And so, as she wandered to the door, he nervously rubbed the back of his head, “Sorry about that, it got caught.” He moved next to her maneuvering the scarf so she wasn’t caught in it’s trail. “I’m getting off here too. Do you want to walk together? I know a good gelatto place just at the end of the block. Unless you have somewhere to be.” “Why would I have anywhere else to be when there is gelatto involved?”

<3

Like A Thief in the Night: Stealing Words Away

First, allow me to apologize for my absence last Monday, I had gone away to Las Vegas to see my family for the holidays and the 5 hour bus rides took a bit out of me. But I digress, I hope everyone has a good weekend and let’s get to it shall we?

Words. Words are powerful. When spoken, intonation and body language lend them greater power than a dagger to the heart, or a greater joy than being able to kiss the lips of your one true love. Written, they are permanent, and their order, and choice of members, can mean the difference between being seen for what they are, or being misunderstood and causing an uproar. But words are neither good nor bad, simply the product of the thoughts of the speaking and writing. For me, my words are one of my biggest strengths. When speaking I tend to stammer if I get nervous: I pause, I stutter, and I often fail to pronounce the word I was looking for. But in writing my words are carefully chosen, and deftly positioned to impact the most. And my favorite target of these words? Why my lady love, Sorcha, of course. Leaving her speechless after a short note of love, or a simple observation of a new trait I noticed that I find infinitely adorable. That smile and the warm silence are my gifts in return for my words and I cherish them. Sorcha has begun to call these “Romantic Epiphanies” and I like to think we are coining a new term now (look for an article on Sorcha’s behalf explaining these very nice moments). Now, most people don’t know how to use their words, which, to me, seems like a shame, since it is a talent easily usable by many. You don’t need a big vocabulary, just the ability to not hide what your feeling, which seems like more of a problem with men than women. So here are 3 ways to be the Thief of the Night and escape with her words:

• Whispers. Whispers convey love and desire more so than a normal volume. When you get the chance, a kiss to the cheek, and whispered tender words. Something as simple as “I love you so much,” can send shivers down their spine. If your reply is a kiss, or simply a warm hug, it counts as a success. Care to push it further? Add context. Tell them one small thing you appreciate about them, be it physical, or emotional. Everyone likes hearing the reason why they are so desired, and if it’s something small that no one compliments, it tends to mean more. “My dearest Sorcha, I love you, and the way your smile always seems to call mine out from hiding.”
• Notes. Long letters sent to far off places, scribblings on a post-it note or a cute series of symbols on a white board attached to your refrigerator. Words written are almost eternal if preserved. And sometimes, they can mean more because of the thought put into them. When you wake up early, leave a post-it on your pillow or the lamp shade. Remind them of how much they mean to you, and how much you think of them. Write a letter, and even if you live together, drop it in your post, and let them find it, when you come home expect a nice hug in return. A scrap book, to put those post-its, letters, even Polaroids of the fridge every time those magnetic letters spell out a poem. Though if you run out of w’s, don’t be afraid to push those v’s close together.
• Song. This one people may wonder about, but it is true. Sending them a text of a song and artist, and letting them find it and hear it. It lets them know you always think of them when that romantic song comes on. As you may have seen, Sorcha and I have our own playlist in progress (here is a link to the first volume), but gathering song like this leads to a nice playlist of music you and your love can listen to together, and even sing along together. And regardless if you can sing or not, or you don’t think you are, singing them a love song while they fall asleep is always something that will make them smile.

So there you have it, three of many ways to use your words to steal theirs. Making them smile, hug you, kiss you or do something nonverbal. Even if they are just stunned, it is still a great compliment to be able to do that to them. So think those over, and until next time, give your Notepad a romantic epiphany and have a great week.

P.S. Sorcha my love, I am glad you understood about Monday, and I am glad to see both of us at our full again. I hope our filler hump is behind us and I hope to impress you with this article. I love you so much, and I can’t wait for our next special post. <3

Sounds of Affection: Music as Communication

In an online romance, sounds and text are more important than anything else. Often text can be misread since there is no intonation and body language, but even sound runs this risk. A tired spoken word can seem bored, or uncaring, or annoyance can be conveyed in words when a distraction is bothering the speaker. I will admit, I put much stock into tone and pitch of Sorcha’s voice, and I’m pleased to find I can now tell the difference between tired and annoyed. But of all the sounds that can be traded between far off lovers, Music can be the most romantic. As you all read in our special post last week, Music means a lot to us, though sometimes we take different things from it, we still understand the intent. Now, I know for a fact music is a big part of both Sorcha’s life and my own as well. We are both amateur musician’s (i.e. we take it as a hobby, near the bottom of both our lists of hobbies), but we are also the kind of people who would gladly have a soundtrack for our life.

Music can convey feelings, memories and thoughts. Being reminded of Sorcha when I hear lines like: “And I do believe it’s true, that there are roads left in both of our shoes. But if the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too,” always makes me smile. So why not share that song with her, and let her know, “Whenever I listen to this song, I smile, and your the only person who I think of... and It’s now hit over 9000 plays in Windows Media Player.” I will admit, I have my listening trends and they shift from time to time, but nothing makes me happier than double-clicking that certain playlist and just closing my eyes and basking in my thoughts. Now will I stop doing this one I have Sorcha within arms reach? Never! I’ll just play it on my speakers instead of on my headphones, hold her close, and think about how lucky I am to have her in my arms at last.

So then, what is the point of explaining what many people probably know? Nothing. But for those who didn’t, now you know. Music is a way you can tell someone you love them, and your thinking of them, without having to say it. If you can still remind them through a simple gesture or action, then you have spent a day doing the most important thing, and should be proud. So until next time, keep your Media Players happy, and have a great week.

P.S. My dearest Sorcha, I love you, and I had a wonderful time doing last weeks post side by side with you. I can’t wait to do it again next month. You mean the world to me, and I look forward to your post this Friday. <3

The Infinite Playlist: Volume 1

As both musicians (of a sort ^ ^) and great lovers of music it is no surprise that we found out quite early how powerful communication through notes and chords could be. We started sending songs back and forth that reminded us of each other, our relationship, and general feelings. It wasn’t long before we realized we needed to keep track of it all and thus the Infinite Playlist was born. We hope you enjoy Part #1 of this musical representation of our love.

Fidelity by Regina Spektor
I’ve felt like Fidelity was my theme song for years. I’ve always been afraid. Not always sure of exactly what but I put up walls between myself and the world around me, I didn’t let anyone get too close. I suppose I can say I’ve had boyfriends before but, really, they weren’t much more than a convenience to me. I kept them further from me than anyone else and I was always surprised that I hurt them when I left because, in plain language, they meant nothing to me. Sab was the one who came into my life and changed everything. I’ve never let anyone in as fully him, not friends and not family. I don’t know how to explain why it is I trust him so much. He just fits into my life like he was always meant to be there. - Sorcha

For me, Fidelity’s words don’t hold as much meaning as the video itself. The video for this song is a wonderful visual play on the relationship between Sorcha and I. In it, Regina Spektor and her companion sit within a room devoid of all color, a wonderful soliloquy of how I see my life, even my manner of dress includes my love of the monochrome. But this girl, in a literal explosion of color, brings laughter, joy and music to the bleak world. Sorcha is that girl to me, the woman who brought me color in her hands, and wasn’t afraid to share it with me, and she will always be the one who turned my monochrome world into a Technicolor dream. - Sabrael

Can’t Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Carla White
A 40’s girl at heart I’ve always loved big band, jazz, and soft sultry voices. Can’t Say Goodbye to Yesterday fills my head with pictures of smoke filled rooms, lazy pianists nursing drinks between chords, and lipsticked singers holding the microphone close enough to kiss. A song about letting go and holding on is the perfect way to introduce the beginnings of a relationship. It’s then that you wonder which parts of yourself are truly you, which are made up of those you’ve run into along the way, and what it is that truly defines you. I see this song as an attempt to find out who you really are before you can decide to let someone else inside. - Sorcha

Carla White’s soft lyrics have always sung the song of my soul. Can’t Say Goodbye to Yesteday has been my theme song ever since I first heard it, at the end of a beautiful narrative on fate. Is our destiny ours or is it chosen for us by those with more power? For a long time, I wondered on this, and after meeting Sorcha through extravagant twists of fate I realized even if there is something up there, I am the one who needs to move forward by my own will. On my own two legs. I will carry myself. And yes, I have found my inner peace and it has a name: Sorcha G. Dubhsioc. With her at my side, I will gladly brave whatever life may decide to visit upon me. - Sabrael

Summer’s Gone by Aberfeldy
I’ve mentioned before that I started to fall for Sab looooong before I’d intended to but it wasn’t until the end of the summer that I started to give into hope. There was a time where it seemed like it was just the two of us. We talked more, ignored our well placed boundaries, and soon well hidden emotions began to peek out. As the temps began to cool to a bearable 80 degrees and the miserable Missouri humidity started to fade it seemed like there were more things changing than just the weather. We finally realized, “Well we get along, Yeah we really do, And there's nothing wrong, With what I feel for you.” At summer’s end, we finally decided to let our hearts take control of our rational minds and that is one decision that I know I will never regret. - Sorcha

The end of Summer, to most, is sad because they remember the end of summer vacation as kids. I am very pasty, and very Irish, and so the sun is not my friend. So the end of Summer to me has actually meant little but the end of too much sunshine. Autumn on the other hand, the browning leaves, the sweeping winds and the feeling of melancholy that comes over me when it begins has always been beautiful to me. And it was near the Fall that Sorcha and I came together as two lonely hearts finding solace together. Melancholy has never felt so warm and sweet before. Now I look forward to Autumn as the time when I was able to find my Sorcha, and now it is a marker of another year passed, and another year to come with her at my side. - Sabrael

She’s So High by Tal Bachman
There are three songs so far in the history of the playlist that have given me goosebumps. Technically this one is #3 but I like lists that start at the end (and it gives you something to look forward to). Every time I hear it I don my aptly named ‘idiot grin’ and am incapable of doing anything other than flooding Sab with <3’s and I love you’s. It’s not just the obvious giddiness at being compared to Aphrodite or even him seeing me as out of his league (Pshaw on that theory!). It’s the fact that this song goes both ways. I don’t know what I did to deserve having Sabrael in my life. He puts up with my ridiculous mood swings, quirks, and eccentricities with an amazing patience I will never understand. My senior year in high school we had a girls retreat where one of the activities was to write out a list of the qualities of our perfect man. Sab meets Every Single bullet point on that list. Whether it’s luck or fate, finding him is something I won’t easily take for granted. - Sorcha

I must admit, I have a very sappy view of this song. The truth is I don’t feel like I am good enough for Sorcha, and I doubt I ever will feel like I am. I know Sorcha will always argue that I am more than deserving, but I will always thing otherwise. Does this worry me? No, I am in love, and as long as I can shower her with that love I will always be happy. And to add to the sap that is already filling this article, I gladly think my Sorcha is more charming than Cleopatra, more beautiful than Aphrodite, and stronger than Joan of Arc. Every time I hear this song, I think of the video: the odd girl with the staff, wings and goggles, without a care in the world. And I can’t help but think of Sorcha, with that beautiful smile and the way she makes me feel when I see her smile. And of course the desire to do anything I have to in order to make sure that smile never goes away. I am grateful to the universe for letting me have her near me, and I would never trade my time with her for anything. - Sabrael

Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows
This song will make the most sense with a small history lesson. While it is true that I met Sabrael though a mutual friend that is only part of the story. There is a good reason why we were so hesitant. Why we were never supposed to fall in love. That reason was his girlfriend. My best friend. Yes, this changes the story a bit now doesn’t it? No story ever has a set beginning and a set end, there’s always something that happened before and something will always happen after and you often can’t understand the context of one without the other. Yes, I did like Sab from the moment I met him but I never intended to do anything about it. I would fall asleep at night forcing my mind to banish thoughts of him because he was off limits. Untouchable. However if I hadn’t broken all of my rules there wouldn’t be a story to tell here. Accidentally in love is the perfect way to describe what happened to us. Neither of us expected it, neither of us pushed for it, it’s a legitimate case of it just happened. Sometimes love is just unexpected. -Sorcha

Once upon a time, I was living with a girl. She was my girlfriend at the time, but our relationship was somewhat unique. We were more like roommates and very close friends than we were lovers. She was an avid fan of Role-Playing, and through this shared hobby I met Sorcha. Now, Sorcha was sweet, and we shared many things in common, but at the time, we were simply blossoming friends. As my relationship dipped, Sorcha was there to be a reassuring and loving voice, and soon I found myself falling for her, and out of respect for my relationship, I distanced myself from her to remove my own doubts. But I would find myself feeling alone with my significant other at my side, and Sorcha was the only one who kept me company. That was when I realized things were not right. And I found myself in love with someone else. When situations reached new lows, and I moved to Los Angeles, I felt truly alone, the person who should have been there for me wasn’t, and the only person who was meant more to me than I could have expected. And so, we accidentally fell in love, even though rules said we shouldn’t. We couldn’t. But I don’t care, I am happy. And I am glad I accidentally fell in love with Sorcha. - Sabrael

Fly Me Away by Annie Little
It’s hard to expound on this song because in a way it perfectly sums up my feelings on the first few months of our relationship. The first line “Silver moons and paper chains” hold special significance to me because it reminds me of something Sab said to me while I was working on some projects for my Etsy. “She has the moon in her pocket and stars on a string.” It’s become a kind of theme for us, Sab is my Moon Man and I’m his Starry Sky. Even the simple line “Speak to me in foreign tongues” brings up all kinds of memories of inside jokes with my favorite linguist. And quite honestly, at this point I don’t know what I would do without him and I can barely remember what my life was like before he was a part of it. I think I can be happy wherever I am, as long as I have him by my side. - Sorcha

This song is simple, but I think it is a very beautiful song, and it is the one which means the most to me. Sorcha plays some piano, and I think of her playing this early in the morning, waking me up with her beautiful voice. “Now I cant think what life was like, before I had you by my side. Cant say what I'd do without you, knowing what its like to have you.” Those words are how I feel all the time. I can see my life before Sorcha, but I am not me, I am simply watching a sad movie that doesn’t get any better until this beautiful girl enters this poor boys life. I would have to paste all the lyrics here to explain myself. This song describes my Sorcha, beautiful and poetic, and it reminds me of the things that made me fall in love with her. I would gladly fly off with her and see the universe, so long as it meant I could always be with her. - Sabrael

Every Day by Voxtrot
I tried by best to keep it to myself but this past summer I went through a crippling depression. I would wake up every morning almost in tears, panicked by bad dreams. It took me hours to fall asleep because my brain would not stop churning with empty thoughts. There was one thing that I look forward to every day and the only thing that convinced me to get out of bed. That was the thought of talking to Sab and his, then, girlfriend. They were the only ones who could bring any kind of peace or meaning to my life. Through time I came to rely quite heavily on Sabrael, probably more than I should have, but he had this habit of always being there exactly when I needed him the most, like he knew. “Crane my neck to kiss your head, I know, That there is something that I can rely on, And when I strain my thoughts to push this thread I sew, It's some kind of future that I can be sure of.” I know he will always be there for me no matter what and that means more to me than anything else. He’s the one thing in my crazy life that I know I can always rely on. - Sorcha

Voxtrot is a band that takes the feelings in my heart and sings them out to the world. I have yet to find a song of theirs that doesn’t touch me, but Every Day is special. It explains of how my world was upside down, smothering me and making me lose hope in everything, only to have someone take my hands and wrench from me everything I have always tried to keep secret. Making it hard to feel lost, she was there, and I knew she would always be, I felt sure of something in my world. And she was it. Suddenly my world stopped shifting and being so chaotic, and I felt like there was a solid path before me, and walking that path I felt like I had a stable future of me, so long as it meant that future was with her. But this road was a slope, and before I knew it I was tumbling head over heels, but I was laughing the whole way because I knew I was tumbling into love. And I couldn’t have been happier. - Sabrael

I’m No Superman by Lazlo Bane
We are not perfect by any means. Both of us have confrontation issues, anger problems, fits of melancholy, and a whole host of baggage. Life loves to throw curve balls at us, either in the relationship itself or just our everyday lives. However just knowing that there is someone there, that I’m not alone in all of this, makes everything else easier to bear. Every little victory seems like we’re getting closer and closer to our goals. To truly being together like we long to be. It’s so much easier to be strong when you know that someone else is relying on you. I may not be Superman (or Wonder Woman if you feel the need for me to be gender accurate) but Sab makes me feel like I could conquer the world if I wanted to. - Sorcha

I had heard this song for the first time on my drive to work. I was in a crap job, and my life quite frankly sucked. This song always told me that it was fine, life isn’t always easy, but you never have to do it all alone. Now, I think of this song, and I think about the hardest parts of my relationship with Sorcha, and sometimes I feel like it will drown me. But then I see that little window pop-up telling me Sorcha G. Dubhsioc has sign on, and I feel like there is “a hand to break my fall”. And I realize no matter how hard it is, I’m not the only one who is dealing with it. I don’t have to be a Superman, I just have to stay strong no matter what comes my way. And true to the song, some day we will be together, and it will be a great day for both of us, but until then, I only have to keep my chin up and keep moving forwards with Sorcha at my side. - Sabrael

Baby, It’s Fact by Hellogoodbye
Now you all know where the title of my last post came from. Surprise! I may leave little notes for you guys to pick up on from time to time, just to keep things interesting. Really everything I have to say about this song was summed up here. I get so frustrated with fighting constantly to have our relationship taken seriously by others. The line that really gets me is “They don’t know how real love feels.” In all my wildest dreams I never thought I would find a love like the one I have for Sabrael. I’ve seen love in some of the people around me but it’s not the same. It’s hard to describe just how it feels to find the person who completes you and the idea that I would give that up for something as silly as some miles of desert between us is ridiculous. It’s fact, I am in love with Sabrael D. Carroll and though our start may have been somewhat unorthodox that doesn’t make our feelings any less real. - Sorcha

If our relationship had a theme song, Baby, it’s Fact would be it. It touches upon the points that both of us feel is unjust for not only us, but anyone in a long distance relationship. Everyone makes stupid comments, and ridicules us for how our love began, and how it is going now. But like the song says, the only words which matter to me are hers, because “our love is true, the way black is black and blue is just blue.” Everyone is obsessed with how love should be, but in reality, I think our love is how it should be. I fell in love with Sorcha’s words and mind long before I came to admire her beauty. And I will keep loving her thoughts for some time before I can have her in my arms. Most would call it backwards, I call it more forwards than any other love. - Sabrael

Don’t Worry, I’m Yours by DJ Dain
This is a monster of a song but it sums up love so perfectly. I am a worrier by nature. The silliest things set me off onto spiraling logic-lacking trains of thought and usually it takes all my energy to reign myself back in. With Sab I don’t feel that as much. We don’t play silly games, we don’t cloud the purity of our feelings with fights for control or jealousy arguments. We just love. He loves me. I love him. It’s as simple as that. The rest is just details. Since I was tiny (ok, tinier than I am now ^ ^) What a Wonderful World has been one of my favorite songs. Corny as it may sound, being with Sab makes me see that. He is the most beautiful person I know and he’s constantly making me see life in a new light for which I am very thankful. The world through Sabrael’s eyes is an amazing thing to see. It makes me so very glad to know that he is mine. - Sorcha

This song is beautiful. It takes three songs, two of which I hadn’t considered for this playlist, and blends them into a soothing mix that punctuates this, the first of many musical posts. I’m Yours had already been slated to appear on this playlist at some point, a beautiful song about how I am so head over heels for this amazing woman known as Sorcha. Over the Rainbow, specifically the Israel Kamakawiwo'ole version, is a relaxing song that has always put me at ease whenever I hear it thanks to a certain comedy show and a very touching scene using his wonderful rendition of it, coupled with a beautiful shadow play video of What A Wonderful World. To top it off, Don’t Worry, Be Happy, a song with sage advice to someone who worries about details as much as I do, added into the mix reminds me that sometimes one shouldn’t be afraid of the situation, and instead go with the flow. Combined, this song simply puts me into a lull, and reminds me not to panic, and not to freak out, because quite frankly, I am in love. - Sabrael

And there you have it, ten songs that embody the beginning of our friendship, and leading into the beginning of the life we chose together. Next time we'll explore the songs that remind us why we are trying so hard, and why we love each other so much. From both of us, thanks for reading, and we hope you enjoyed this special Wednesday post, and we hope you enjoyed the music. Until next time, give your MP3 Players a hug, and we’ll see you next Monday.