Across the Stars and Skies

8:02PM, The 20th of May
As I sit in front of Moe’s Southwest Grill, avoiding shaking my laptop because she has decided to be a finicky piece of machinery, I count down the hour and a half until everything is packed away, my little station by the outlet is made vacant, and I board my plane headed to the place I truly want to be. Or at the very least, a place closer than I am now. You see, I am in for a one hour layover in Phoenix, AZ, where I will settle down like a pioneer of the skies, braking camp just long enough to keep what remains of my sanity from being eroded by pure boredom. I think about landing in St. Louis. I think about giving her the first hug of a long line of them. I think about her hand in mine, and mine in hers, the place it wants to be. The place it has wanted to be since that fateful day that seems so far away, but still quite close. I sit here in front of Moe’s Southwest Grill, and the smell of fajitas and of salsa reminds me of her. The crunching of chips makes me smile because she is the one who comes to mind. I sit here, and I wait until it is time to venture closer. I sit here and wait for happiness.

11:20 PM, The 20th of May
Before you read this, there is something you must know: I have 2 laptops. A Sony VAIO named Emily, which has been mine forever, and has been the source of all my issues. The other is a cute little Gateway named KidRobot, who was formerly the assistant to Sorcha before my need and skill brought her to me, and rebuilt her damaged parts, making her the more reliable of the two at times. KidRobot became sort of like a typewriter to me. Few distractions and a keyboard I loved to feel under my finger tips. Now that you know that, know that, despite the fact that I don’t use her as often as I would like. Now that you know all that, know this as well, I am writing on KidRobot once more, because as I reported last, Emily's screen was flickering and dying out. The good news is it stopped. The bad news is that it stopped because the screen decided to completely give out. I'm not sure as to the cause, and I was very annoyed to discover this, but I was relieved by other news.

I was relieved because my 40 minutes of hell from Las Vegas to Phoenix were over. As we were taking off and the plane began to shake, the elderly woman sitting next to me continually offered me a chance to glance out of the window, because I had drawn lucky and had managed to procure the aisle seat. Sadly, doing the calculations, my longer flight would have me next to my aged foe: the window! As we flew, the pressure began to build in my ears, drowning out my music until I swallowed hard, not to clear them, but out of panic. You see I am not a good flyer, and as many would assume, I did indeed grip the arm rests with no abandon. I found myself wondering many things. Such as how often does one survive a water impact in order to use their seat as a flotation device? Why do the attendants look so bored when waving their arms about in a silly manner while instructing us where the exits are? And most importantly, what would I do if I knew we were to crash? I immediately knew the answer. I would send one last text, telling her I love her with the swiftest and fastest mathematical equation I could muster: less than 3. And I stopped because I was scaring myself and my hands were cramping from the arm rests. When I finally found myself on the ground, I breathed easy, and now wait for the next grueling leg of my journey. This time I hope, my thoughts will not betray me.

Now I’m sitting in the dining room of a Pizza Hut in the process of closing, making camp again as the workers glance at me wondering what I want since, before that look of realization when they see me plugged into the wall. I need electricity my dear man! And lots of it! I was happy to discover that the layover will be brief: It’s roughly 11:29, and boarding started 4 minutes ago. I only wanted to write my thoughts before they were lost and ease the pain of my legs. Something about altitude makes my knees hurt. And now I remember: I‘m old. My knees always hurt. But I must continue on!

12:18 AM, The 21st of May
We just took off. The pilot’s words were simple, and good at relaxing my nerves. He seemed talented, because our lift off was smooth. Much smoother than the flying coffin that left Las Vegas bound for (hopefully) Phoneix. In a few long hours I will be safely on the ground in the city that is like my own personal Wonderland, St. Lewis (see what I did there?). This time, the ride is much nicer, instead of having a talkative elderly woman who doesn't know the signs of a nervous flyer, I am sitting next to a Japanese man and his daughter. One would assume they could be from any part of Asia. I simply know because as they rose from the aisle and middle seat in order to accommodate my adventure to the window (that horrible fiend!), I was greeted with much head bowing and utterances of "sumi masen." Letting what know of Japanese culture take over, my waved issuance of "Ie, ie," was well received, and now I am blessed with a neighbor who understands the meaning of personal boundaries. I am truly blessed.

But of course, those are my neighbors to the left. Behind me are the rancorous cries of a child, for whom I pity, because I am sure all that is bothering him is the pressure of the cabin. How he wishes he could alleviate it. I would suggest to his mother that she give him a snack, the chewing and swallowing will alleviate the pressure. Or even a nice gulp of juice would help. But alas, she’d rather yell at the poor boy in order to silence him. It is not he that bothers me, it is her. Sometimes I wonder if people forget that children don't have words, or don't know them, and sometimes it takes an educated guess. This makes me think of parents, which makes me think of parenting, and I think of all the conversations I've had with Sorcha about what we will or won't do when the time comes to start our own family. I wonder what our solution would be here. I would go with the juice approach I think, and Sorcha would simply suggest we not take our babies on a red eye flights, where they might end up being cranky. And I suggest we avoid the planes, and take a boat. And there was peace in the kingdom.

2:15 AM, The 21st of May
I was awoken with a start for the second time in the flight. The first being when the kind attendants filled my Zojirushi with ice and water, for which I will eternally be grateful because I hadn’t had the chance to get a drink before boarding. But this time, the pilot announced we would be beginning our descent into St. Louis in 15 minutes. It was like a voice from heaven (fitting since it was on a PA system). It told me that soon, I would be on the ground, waiting for my joy and bliss to come to me. Soon , I would be in the only place I ever wanted to be. That made everything that happened, good and bad, more worth it than anything ever. And as I felt the plane bank towards my side of the plane, I couldn't resist staring out of the window, and seeing St. Louis from above, like a searching bird. I realized I would be descending, and I would find my nest, and like that bird, I would feel eased. I would be at peace. And I would be happy. Truly happier than anyone could ever be.

P.S. My dearest Sorcha. It's been a dream being by your side, and I'm glad I suffered the trip to come to your side. I would gladly do it again and again because you mean more to me than the dangers I face (be they real, or in my mind). I love you, and I missed this. I look forward to next weeks special article. <3