Baby, It's Fact

I have an online boyfriend.
It’s a hard concept to explain to people because it’s a topic full of misconceptions. The most common being:

1. He must be a total creeper or a 40-year-old pervert who will lure me to his house with candy so he can rape me.
2. I’m only doing this for attention or just so I can say I have a boyfriend.
3. We both are pathetic because we can’t find people in our own area who are interested in us.
4. We don’t know anything about each other or are only seeing one side.
5. (The one I hate the most) “You’ll get over it.”

The hardest part of all this is not being taken seriously. I’ve been told it’s just a phase, I’ll never live down the embarrassment, and I’ll look back on this experience and laugh at my idiocy.

This is part of the reason I wanted to start this blog. Now, in the digital age, statistics on how many couples meet online are shaky because of all the different venues it can occur in. However, most of the estimates are about 1 in 5 couples. That’s a huge amount of people! So why is no one fighting against all this bad press?

For me, personally, I don’t think I would have been able to find love without the internet. I don’t let people in very easily, especially not boys, and I have only a few close friends. All my past relationships failed because they got too close and I bolted. But more on this later, keep an eye out for my post next week.

But I digress, I’ve never been one of those people who does things just because everyone else does, and it always irritates me when people assume that I am. My hair has always been curly (even when it wasn’t fashionable), I love Harry Potter because it’s great literature (not because Daniel Radcliffe is ‘hott’), and I am obsessed with pirate history (not to be confused with obsession of Pirates of the Caribbean). So because of this stubborn streak of mine I was never that girl who always had to have a boyfriend. Truthfully I’ve only had three before and none of them lasted longer than a few months. Dating is serious to me. If I can’t see myself marrying the person then what is the point? If I just want to have fun I can hang out with my friends. That’s why past guys never stuck around long, I knew from the beginning it wasn’t going anywhere and it made me not want to try. Eventually I got tired of hurting people and just decided to stay away from relationships until I could find someone on equal footing with me. It took me a while but I’m glad I held out for him.

As for only seeing one side of the person, I will admit that to a point it’s true, I don’t know everything about Sabrael. We’ve been dating for two months, name one couple who knows everything about each other by that time. We’re still in the process of learning about each other and growing in our relationship but the thing that makes us different is that from the very beginning we promised to be completely honest with each other in everything. I know if I ask a question, no matter how personal or off the wall it is, he will answer me. Truthfully, I think that kind of trust is much more valuable than anything I could ever learn about him.

The whole point of this article is to let you know, that I’m not going to just get over it. I love Sabrael and even if this is a mistake it’s one I’m willing to make and one I’m willing to fight for my right to make. In this day and age it seems silly that people would judge the validity of a relationship based on something as arbitrary as proximity. With all the modes of communication available to use, face to face contact is often more of a luxury anyways. And what does that say about our society if the only relationships we value are ones with a constant physical component? With the detail of sex currently out of the picture I know Sab is not just dating me to use me, he’s dating me for me. I personally feel lucky to be able to know that. So those of you out there in internet relationships, it’s time for us to finally stand up for ourselves. Our feelings are just as important as anyone else’s we don’t need to be ashamed any more of who we love.

I have an internet boyfriend, I love him, and he means the world to me. Don’t like it? Get over it.

So, until next time, show some lovin' to those hot keys, and have a great weekend.

P.S. – Your last article was excellent, Sab. Quite honestly I think aside from the distance itself, the economics of our relationship have had the most strain on us. It’s always conversations about money and housing that wear us out. However, I believe in you! You’re a smart, talented, brilliant guy and you will find ways to make things work. I have absolutely no doubt about it. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. No matter how long it takes, I will be right here waiting for you. There is no rush because we have the rest of our lives to make up any lost time. I love you so much Sabrael!

OURstory: The Time Line

The Timeline: BBF (Before Bun-Fox)

March 1^st = Initial contact
March 7^th = First Sab Sighting
May 12^th = Afraid
June 30^th = "I send you good thoughts!"
July 1^st = First appearance of the ‘o 3 o’ face
July 13^th = Religion
July 16^th = Sorcha’s Nightmare
July 20^th = You're Important to Me
July 21st = First Sorcha Sighting
July 22^nd = Enter The Bandit Queen and The Insomniac
July 23^rd = Importance of Sorcha Time
July 24^th = Our Pets/ Invention of Sorcha
July 27^th = The Dream of Annabelle Lee
August 7^th = Pet Names
August 10^th = Sab’s Nightmare/ Sab’s Relationship History
August 11^th = Sorcha makes Sab tell the truth
August 12^th = Our Lives Together
August 13^th = Why Sorcha is Bacon Bits
August 14^th = Sorcha Will Never Run Away/ Sab says the L word
August 15^th = Sorcha’s First Moment of True Honesty/ Sorcha says the L word

I like to call our chat history 'The Archives.' Almost all our early interactions are there, recorded in print. Pages and pages and pages of text ranging from silly to serious, important to trivial, and honest to evasive. In preparation for starting this blog I decided to read though all these records in an attempt to find all the important turning points of our relationship.

Returning to the beginning I learned more about us than I ever thought I would. There were things I'd forgotten, things I'd taken for granted that now mean so much to me. They help remind me why it is that I love him so much. Things I never want to forget. So this is reason #1 why there is a time line.

Reason #2 is for your benefit. Love is never entirely logical so neither shall this blog be. We'll explain things as we feel like it, ramble when we want to, and occasionally rant off topic if we have to. This post is here to serve as your mental map, a kind of table of contents if you will. As this blog goes along we will return to each of these posts and eventually they will all get explanations of their own (which we will link to as they are completed).

And so ends introduction week. Both Sabrael and I are very excited about this project and, now that we're all on the same page, we hope you are too. Regular posts will begin next week with Sab taking every Monday and me, Sorcha, controlling Fridays. As an added incentive to get people to subscribe we will have occasional Wednesday updates. These will all be projects that Sab and I work on together. Some of them will be text based but we also have ideas using other mediums that you won't want to miss. Until next time, remember pixels need love too, and have a great weekend!

Oh, and P.S.  Happy 2nd Monthiversary Sabrael! Everyday you remind me of why it was I first told you I love you and everyday I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have you. Thank you for agreeing to take on this project with me and I certainly hope it won't be our last. Lots of love!

HISstory: The Prologue

Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Boy is allowed to live happily ever after. This is the timeline given to us in poorly written Hollywood drama. But every once in a while, the story changes. Boy doesn’t fall for girl, sometimes girl falls for boy. And what if Boy isn’t allowed a happy ending? What if Boy suffers because of girl? This is a story that Hollywood wouldn’t touch, but in the minds of two people, it is the most important story they will ever have.

He was the epitome of infinite sadness. His heart had been crushed by so many, and it got so far that the romance he held onto so dearly was slipping from his grasp, and the thought of leaving it behind scared him. Little did he know that someone would be there to pick it up for him, and hold it out in loving arms, ready to share it’s glory. She was the one. She found his heart, all alone, and gave it back to him, reminding him of those sweet whispers it had of romance and true love. And he could only watch her from a distance because of the truth.

The truth was that they were in love, but circumstances stopped them from admitting how they felt, or giving into the suggestions of both their hearts. So there were many conversations about books, and movies, and games. Not a single word of their feelings for each other. They just ignored their hearts and let them gather dust in a corner. But one late night, when a heart gripped with fear called out, he answered. Regardless of what the situation demanded, he raced to her, and wanted nothing more than to ease her worries. To distract her from her pain. And he did so happily, grateful he could show his feelings at least for a little while. But when it came time to put their hearts back, they realized they had the others. Even though he was scared that his fragile heart would be broken again, something inside him told him he could trust her with it. And so he did. He left his heart with her and held onto hers tightly, never wanting to lose it, or leave it alone.

One day, his mind was heavy with thoughts, and the only one there to liberate him of their burden was her. She listened, and never once tried to escape the torrent of thoughts. She remained, and when his head was empty, she reached out, and took his mask away, awaiting the rest. The things no one else would dare face. And all that awaited her was his love. He loved her, and told her so, holding her heart, still pristine and unblemished. And she loved him, and held out his heart, fixed from the many times it had been carelessly dropped in the past. That is where it all began for them. With a simple gesture. And it is from here where it will continue.

HERstory: The Prologue

This is not your typical story of boy meets girl. There was no eye-locking moment of epiphany. There was no dramatic, public declaration of love and devotion. There has not even yet been a kiss in which the background fades into fireworks and shooting stars. Hollywood may not be interested in our story but it is a love story all the same. One that only serves to prove the immense power of words and that two flickering computer screens are all that’s needed to bridge an 1826 mile gap.

By the time she met him, she’d given up on love. She figured one day she might find a nice guy who treated her right to whom she would eventually sign away her life in exchange for a warm pair of arms to sleep in every night. In her mind’s eye she saw so clearly the man she wanted, a smiling silhouette who laughed at all her silly little jokes, was as intelligent and geeky as she, and understood the importance of adventure. However in all her nineteen years of life she had never encountered anyone who came remotely close so she began to think he was merely a creation of her own overactive imagination. Of course it was just at that moment of surrender that Sabrael entered the picture.

Though she loved him from the start, boundaries had to be set. He was untouchable. They spent months talking for hours about absolutely nothing. They desired the presence of each other but couldn’t bring themselves to speak the truth they both feared so much. The nightmare changed it all. A flash of vulnerability and neither of them could fully go back to the way things were. They’d exposed themselves as human, all raw feelings and phobias, and after that the masks began to crack.

He was the first to say it. He said it so plainly and so honestly. There were no games, no false promises, no ulterior motives. Years of disillusionment had taught her that he could never feel for her the way she did for him, that it would never work out, and, the worst, that she would eventually hurt him. It was that idea which scared her more than any else. That was when she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she, Sorcha G. Dubhsioc, was whole heartedly in love with Sabrael D. Carroll and no matter what happened, letting him into her life was a decision she would never regret.

This is not the end of the story, it is merely the beginning. An introduction if you will. You enter here, dear reader, seven months into the story and two months into the relationship. What happens next none of us know but like all tales of love, it is a story worth telling complete with all the good times, the bad times, and everything in between.